Days after deciding to open provincial parks up for “partnerships” in a bid to save money, the Alberta Government made another shocking announcement. Premier Jason Kenney and Jason Nixon, Minister of Environment and Parks, held a press conference to announce a name change to the Ministry under Nixon’s purview. The Alberta Ministry of Environment and Parks is rebranding itself as the Ministry of Mudbogging and Gettin’ Er Done, Bud. Before addressing the name change, Kenney answered reporter’s q

Forgive me Jason Kenney, for I have sinned. My last confession was… well… never, because this bullshit hasn’t occurred since the 1930s. Forgive me Jason Kenney, Oil Overlord, for I have sinned. I sold my truck and used the money to buy a small, fuel-efficient vehicle. I have impure thoughts about solar energy panels, sometimes twice daily — I tried to repent by going to the Shell station and flagellating myself with the gas pump. I coveted my neighbour’s orange lawn sign and gazed with lust

Stampede season is over and with it, one of July’s most time-honoured traditions — the political pancake breakfast. Provincial party leaders, municipal government officials, members of the legislative assembly and federal fast-talkers all proffer their best pancakes for your eating pleasure. Do you like your breakfast foods with a side of propaganda? Does your mouth need to be absolutely crammed full of pancake-y goodness in order to stomach a rant about “standing up for the middle class” or, a

In an effort to improve mental wellbeing on the University of Calgary campus, the school is now incentivizing good driving in the Arts Parkade. Drivers who at least try to exercise caution, actually look for pedestrians while going around corners, stop at stop signs, park within the lines and refrain from speeding will be awarded points, which can be exchanged for beef jerky at Stör in MacHall. Those who accumulate several hundred points and avoid the temptation of tasty dehydrated meat treats

Over the years, I’ve made my way through the circles of restaurant Hell, where customers snap their fingers to get your attention, food ‘critics’ slam you online for not having organic kale and everyone is allergic to everything. This job is the pits. Welcome to Dante’s Diner — where the Hell is always fresh, never frozen. For some customers, there is no perfect table. They’ll wander around the entirety of the restaurant searching for the Holy Grail of ass-baskets. These people are the Goldiloc